im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
did i walk over a car last night?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
