Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
