I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
