the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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