Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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