The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
