We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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