yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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