This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
