i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
