I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
