Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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