question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My bed smells like the plague
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
