I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
