I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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