a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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