so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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