What did we do last night that was yellow?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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