hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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