You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
