so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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