But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
