I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Randomize
