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It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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