508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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