its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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