Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
A+ Viking dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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