1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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