he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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