Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
