omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize