he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
