one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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