I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
