I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
