I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
