Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
