i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
