singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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