Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
