conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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