I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
