If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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