I just threw up on my dentist
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
