She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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