Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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