If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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