Midget sex pt 2 tonight
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
