I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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