I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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